A friend that I haven't spoke to in a while

So I've been going crazy today.  Really packing a lot of stuff.  I've also decided to change the theme.  I really like the dark colors but am attracted to the autumn feel right now, and then I decided to go with the Haunted House theme because it's calling me.  Why is the haunted house theme calling me?  I know its definitely got a younger, beetlejuice kind of feel to it, but you know what... I'm allowed to feel young, and besides Halloween the remake by Rob Zombie is coming out at the end of August and then, not much later it'll be getting close to Halloween...  Autumn is my favourite time of the year.  I love the scents of the crisp air, earthy, green, rich soil.   I love the dark colors and the stars in this theme the most.  If there were Astrological or Astronomical based themes I'd be happy.  I think I'll request that to be made by whoever did the haunted house one...  Hmmm... good Idea...

For the last while I've been thinking about a friend of mine that has got me all torn up inside.  See, this friend, is a very sensitive person, a very reflective person, and someone who is very much about the self.  Everything revolves around this person and their perspective always comes down to self interest.  For me, this doesn't work well, I see this as self-centredness at it's worst, yet in the process of learning great wisdom is shared with me.  However, this person has not been keeping much contact with me lately, and I'm thinking that it has something to do with how their perception is usually in the thought process and consideration of "Is this person, giving me anything that helps me out on my journey; if not I'm not going to bother with them."  This is a very sad state of affairs, and goes very much against my own values of sharing, giving and being there with others. 

So I'm stuck in a bit of a spot here that I don't really like.  A spot of questioning if I should continue this friendship or not.  I'm wondering if this person is considering the same thing.  It seems we aren't really jiving lately, well how can we? this person doesn't even contact me, for very, very long periods.  And when this person does contact me, it's extremely brief, saying, I don't have time basically. 

We have a joint union in areas that keep us working together from afar, but I've been asking myself the question "Why can't this person give me just a few moments time out of the month to give me the consideration of a quick email telling me what's going on in their life?" 

It's got me slightly torn up inside. I mean I do value this persons friendship, but I do have other things going on in my life, many things that keep me busy, interesting and doing things I love, so it's not like I'm down in the pits feeling all gloomy or anything.  Why waste time feeling like crap over someone else's issues?  I mean if this person doesn't wish to speak with me anymore, that's ok, I'll live, but it does bother me slightly, because I value this person's friendship. 

I'm rethinking a lot of stuff. 

Considering the fact that I'm moving, and throwing out a lot of old junk from my past, maybe it's time for me to let go of this person too. 

I'm considering it. Wondering about it.  Writing about it.